


Merken

by Kirby_Sage



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Madoka Dreamed of the Cycle as a Child, Magical Girls, Nightmares, Prophetic Dreams, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2019-10-31 06:03:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17843831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirby_Sage/pseuds/Kirby_Sage
Summary: Twelve years. Madoka has spent twelve whole years dreading this day. But, as her nightmares had long since foretold, it has at last come. The cycle has begun, and Madoka, with her steeled heart and resolve, will do anything to survive. But as the days before Walpurgisnacht approach, Madoka realizes that the cycle is nowhere near as simple and easy to survive through as she thought.





	1. March 16th, Morning

Madoka was two years old when the nightmares began.

She was a normal infant up to that point. A pink-haired ball of enthusiasm and positivity born into the Kaname family, raised by two loving parents. Madoka was almost able to walk all by herself and her number of learned words nearly reached two dozen. There were no medical issues with her, nor did she live in poverty. Her mother played with her whenever she was free from her work, and her father took care of the house and would take care of household tasks.

Madoka Kaname lived the joy of being an infant to its fullest, all with a bright smile that would warm the hearts of even the harshest of people.

However, this all changed when the clock struck midnight on October 3rd.

As Madoka’s parents silently worked on a celebration for their daughter’s second birthday while she slept; Junko putting up small, shiny paper decorations around the house and Tomohisa putting the finishing touches on a delicious cake, seemingly out of nowhere, Madoka began to wail loudly, fat tears dripping down her saddened face as she sobbed. Tomohisa had gone to put her back to sleep, the whole ordeal taking about an hour as the pink-haired baby seemed like she wanted to do anything but close her eyes or let go of her father. And though the cake could not be fully completed due to this, Madoka still managed to have a relatively great second birthday.

That is, until she once again woke up from her slumber and began to weep that very same night.

And the next night.

And the next night

And the next night.

Though definitely not unusually for a child to cry, what was alarming was its frequency. Not a single night went by without the Kaname household erupting into a flurry of sobs, groans, whimpers and tired attempts at comforting Madoka. Due to the number of sleepless nights the pink-haired infant got, the girl was significantly unhappier. She was more restless, more bound to cry over things she could get over prior, and her lack of sleep led to a lack of balance when attempting to walk and difficulty learning new words.

Worst of all, the bright smile that had once lit the halls of the Kanames had been all but extinguished, replaced with a tired frown, leaving the family cold and miserable.

After nearly a week of this, it got to the point where it could no longer be ignored. Junko hired as many capable doctors as she could to get to the bottom of this matter. The amount of child doctors that had come to perform check-ups on Madoka in that month alone likely approached twenty, with the amount of doctors that Junko had called but had been unavailable double that amount. Though, there was a high possibility that those doctors wouldn’t have mattered in the long run, as no single doctor had been able to find a problem with the Kaname’s baby girl. Nothing that would cause a child any kind of pain was observed; not physical, anyways. There was naturally no real way to tell if there was any kind of mental obstacles that were keeping Madoka returning to her normal, happy, sleeping self.

One of the doctors, a young but experienced woman with light colored hair, had suggested that Madoka may have been having nightmares, as Madoka’s sobbing would only occur in her sleep. Junko and Tomohisa were naturally confused. Was there something that Madoka had seen that would cause her to experience a fear so poignant that it haunted her for weeks on end?

Whether or not she had, Junko and Tomohisa made sure she wouldn’t see anything scary again. The house was devoid of anything dangerous, scary or anything that could even remotely resemble something Madoka could fear. Songs and fairy tales that had any negative undertones, no matter how small, were banned from the household. Whenever Madoka slept, small lamps made sure that she was not in complete darkness, with her two parents right beside her.

But even still, Madoka continued to cry the moment she fell asleep. Whenever she was about to about to brought to her pleasant dreamland, a shadowy hand would whisk her away into the realm of nightmares, where her only escape from the intense fear was bawling loudly until she’d wake up.

For about 3 months, this would continue. Any possible solution the Kanames thought up would turn up fruitless. Junko and Tomohisa had no idea what to do. All they wanted was the happiness of their precious daughter, but no matter what they tried, that same night would ultimately be filled with Madoka’s miserable weeping, and in turn, the two parents became miserable themselves, possibly the worst they had felt in their entire life.

The Kanames’ life were filled with despair.

But then, during one night, a night that Junko and Tomohisa were prepared to be tune out Madoka’s cries while they attempted to calm her down…

Her eyes remained peacefully closed.

And from then on, it was as if nothing had even happened. No more tired arguments or sleepless nights for the Kanames. Madoka’s nightmare problem seemingly up and disappeared into the air. The shadowy hand no longer bothered her, and her nightly trips to dreamland were calm and tranquil. Junko and Tomohisa never figured out what this problem was, how it came to be or how it suddenly ended, but in the end they couldn’t care less; words could not described how relieved they were to have their daughter back to normal.

However, there was one thing that did not revert back to normal after this incident.

Madoka’s bright smile never did quite return.

 

* * *

_“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”_

_Madoka cried._

_She fell asleep._

_Sleep meant bad things would happen._

_Her dreamscape, instead of being filled with the fluffy, colorful and playful wonders one would expect a two year old to have, could be more aptly described as a hellscape. Odd, out-of-place and utterly terrifying imagery danced around her, cackling with ear-gratingly high-pitched voices at her. Amid the bizarre creatures were things that were slightly more recognizable, such as musical notes, cheese, dark silhouettes of girls, nuts, teapots, candles, among numerous other objects, but they cackled just as loudly as the horrors next to them, if not louder. The scenery whirled around her at headache inducing speeds, rotting wood, polka-dotted curtains and ruined cinema film turning into a blur of unpleasantness. Closing her eyes did not do anything, neither did plugging her ears or attempting to go away, the nightmare’s presence could not be ignored._

_Some of the imagery, a mix of muddy clay, old moss, bloody butterfly wings, as well as more revolting things, formed actual beings. Though ‘being’ wasn’t exactly the right word. ‘Abomination’ was a far more appropriate word. A living candle riding a paper horse, a broken clay knight with the bottom half of a fish, a bony figure with hands tied to a pillory, a black and red-dotted snake-like creature who’s eyes screamed predator._

_Worst yet, they too cackled. They screeched. The sound echoed across the wherever-they-were, haunting Madoka to no end. So loud that Madoka could not even hear her own sobbing._

_What she did hear were the words that the abominations yelled._

**_“witCH”_ **

**_“hoMURA”_ **

**_“SayAKA”_ **

**_“CYCLe”_ **

**_“maMi”_ **

**_“kyuUBEy”_ **

**_“wISH”_ **

**_“kyOUko”_ **

**_“MAGICAL GIRL”_ **

_Madoka had no idea what these words were, after all, she was just 2 years old. But despite this, these words were etched eternally in her mind, unable to leave her, even if she wanted them to. Which she desperately did. It made her feel hurt and sad and bad and she wanted her mom and dad._

_But this scary place wasn’t letting her._

_One of the abominations, specifically the bony girl, had approached her while Madoka was caught up in her own fear. She picked the toddler up and raised her into the air, making the pink-haired girl even more terrified._

_“N-NOOOOO! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Madoka cried out, too paralyzed in fear to attempt escaping her grasp._

**_“save you, you will save me”_ ** _The bony girl muttered to herself, her voice human but also anything but. Madoka was promptly pitched into the air, with the bony girl’s screams doubling in volume as she cursed the heavens. Before Madoka could even think of doing anything else, the snake-like creature flew to her and bit into her clothing, keeping the poor girl suspended in the air. Madoka flailed her arms and legs desperately, but the creature ignored her, instead flying around the hellscape, forcing Madoka to stare at the cackling terrors from a horrifyingly high height._

_Madoka’s sobbing was becoming hysterical. Any louder and she’d lose her voice. But it was the only thing she could do. She just wanted this all to stop. She wanted the scary things to stop._

_And, moments later, an explosion off in the distance signaled that that would soon be the case._

_Once the blast had cleared, Madoka could see that the scary creatures had in that radius had stopped moving and cackling. They hadn’t disappeared, but Madoka already felt better just by them not laughing anymore._

_Near where the explosion had occurred, the pink-haired toddler saw four people, dressed in rather extravagant outfits. Madoka couldn’t see them clearly as she was in the air, but they resembled girls, and each had distinct hair colors. Yellow, red, blue and black, to be exact._

_Madoka wailed louder and stretched her arms towards them._

_Almost instantaneously, they jumped into action. The blue haired girl unsheathed her cutlass and began to slash away at the sentient objects one by one. The red haired girl, spear in hand, pierced all of the big abominations until they stopped moving, with the help of the yellow haired girl, who damaged them at a distance with her numerous ribbons and muskets. The black haired girl jumped towards Madoka and grabbed her from the creature’s mouth, before pulling out a pistol and shooting the creature, it falling seconds after she and Madoka landed on the ground._

_Madoka looked around her previously hellish dream, still crying, but nowhere near as much as before. All of the things that had scared her had stopped moving and were as silent as the grave. The scenery had stopped moving, making Madoka a lot calmer._

_The two year old tilted her head up, wanting to see and thank the girl that had saved her. Her parents had taught her to say ‘thank you’ whenever someone did a nice thing._

_“T-than-” Madoka instantly froze._

_The black-haired girl’s face was blank. Not emotionless or unreadable. There was nothing on her face but skin._

_Madoka quickly turned away, only to see the other three girls that had help make the scary things quiet, their faces also devoid of noses, mouths or eyes. The pink-haired toddler’s eyes were about once again erupt in salty tears. Before she could, though, the black-haired girl holding her lifted her up into the air, similarly to the bony girl moments prior._

_“Thank you.” She said eerily. Madoka let out a confused sniffle; wasn’t ‘thank you’ a word you used when someone did something nice? Wasn’t the girl the one to do the nice thing to her?_

_“Thank you.” A chorus of those two words came from the other girls, leaving Madoka even more puzzled._

_Suddenly, however, Madoka felt something weird on her back. She looked back and saw, of all things, a pair of large and extravagant-looking angel wings. If not for how confused she currently was, she’d probably be ecstatic; she always wanted to fly like a bird._

_As though a god was listening to her, Madoka slowly began to rise from the black-haired girl’s hands. Though, the toddler’s wings did not flap once; in fact, Madoka had no idea what was going on, and was becoming more and more panicked as her altitude grew without her control._

_“Thank you, o Law of Cycles.”_

_Madoka finally stopped. Looking down, she saw the four girls that had saved her staring at her, hands clasped in prayer._

_“Thank you, o Goddess, for purifying our souls.”_

_A translucent yet dark purple aura surrounded each of the girls. Even more concerning, the same aura formed around the unmoving nightmare creatures. Madoka’s blood ran cold just from looking at it; its nature alone felt wrong._

_“Thank you, o Goddess, for watching over us.”_

_This time, even the creatures chimed in with the quartet with their sickeningly high-pitched voices, creating a loud chant._

_“Thank you, o Goddess, for cleansing us of our sins and taking them upon yourself.”_

_From the dark veil surrounding everyone came forth several tendrils. They all slowly floated around the aura of their respective person, before swiftly jerking up._

_Right at Madoka._

_The tendrils then steadily made their way to the pink-haired girl, who desperately tried to escape, but she was stuck in place._

_“Thank you, o Goddess, for accepting our sins.”_

_The tendrils were halfway there._

_“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! MAMA! DADA! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”_

_The tendrils were seconds away._

_“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”_

_All of the tendrils touched her at once._

_And Madoka felt the sins of every single being present._

_Sadness, loss, pain, despair, fear, anger, jealousy, despair, rage, vengefulness, delusions, regret, hypocrisy, despair, wrath, sloth, despair, insanity, greed, guilt, despair, despair,_ **_despair._ **

_All at the same moment._

_Undeservingly put on the shoulders of a child._

_Madoka could not let out a single sound. The feeling of sheer negativity and sin running through her overwhelmed her, crushed her, deteriorated her very being._

_“Thank you, o Goddess.”_

_Why... were they thanking her?_

_“Thank you, o Goddess.”_

_Thanking people was when they did something nice, right?_

_“Thank you, o Goddess.”_

_Was this all because Madoka was nice? Did all of this happen… because she was nice? Mama and Dada said that being nice was a good thing, though…_

_“Thank you, o Goddess.”_

_No! If being nice was a good thing, then this wouldn’t be happening! She wouldn’t be feeling so bad!_

_“Thank you, o Goddess.”_

_She didn’t want to be thanked! Being thanked meant that this would happen! She didn’t want to be nice if it meant she’d be thanked!_

_“Thank you, o Goddess.”_

_Please! Stop! Madoka isn’t nice, Madoka doesn’t want to be nice, she shouldn’t thanked, she shouldn’t have to go through all this badness!_

_“Thank you, o Goddess-”_

_“NOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT DO THANK YOU! MADOKA NOT NICE! MADOKA NOT NICE! NO THANK YOUS! PLEASE!!!!!!” Madoka screamed incomprehensibly, her inner emotions expressed as pure and as raw as they possible could from such a small child._

_Madoka’s eyes suddenly flashed, memories all too familiar yet not familiar at all carving themselves in her mind; memories of a long-lasting cycle, of magical girls, of grief, of witches, of death, of pain, of sacrifice._

_Madoka’s eyes then suddenly closed, and everything around her ceased to be._

_Madoka woke up._

* * *

 

“Hey Madoka! You should get up now or you’ll be late!”

The now-fourteen year old girl grumbled as her father’s voice roused her from her slumber. It had been a dreamless one, as had now become the norm, though today was a day where she did not expect her sleep to be so tranquil. Regardless of whether or not she dreamed, though, her body wanted nothing but to remain glued to her bed and let her consciousness fade away.

In fact, she nearly did. The only thing that stopped Madoka from doing this was the sudden weight on her chest. Upon opening her eyes, she saw her little brother Tatsuya’s excited face as he playfully shifted left and right on top of her. In the corner of her eye, she saw Junko’s sly grin, the woman already completely dressed.

“Come on, Madoka. Tatsuya wants her big sister to go to school and learn more things for you tell him about.” Junko commented, picking up the said boy, who erupted into giggles. Madoka gave her an indiscernible expression, but moments later got out of bed.

“I’m going to change. You don’t have to wait for me to get ready, you might be late if you do.” Madoka said, standing up and stretching her arms slightly. Junko nodded, walking out of the room, but stopped right as she was about to step out of the door.

“Madoka… I know something is bothering you right now. It’s in your eyes.” Junko stated, without facing her daughter. The said pink-haired girl said nothing, the ground suddenly looking a lot more interesting to her.

“Right on the mark, aren’t I?”

“Be quiet.” Madoka bit back. Junko gave a small laugh at that, with Tatsuya mimicking her.

“Alright, sweetie. We’ll talk about it when you get back from school.” The business woman said. She then left the room.

“Have a good day, alright?” The door closed.

Madoka’s eyes closed for a moment, before reluctantly opening them back up.

Her floor wasn’t too untidy; just some articles of clothings misplaced that she picked up and put back to their proper place. Her bed was in complete disarray, but there wasn’t any harm in simply making it up when she got home from school. On the floor was a pink teddy bear with big button eyes, one she distinctly remembers having gotten as a Christmas present when she was four years old.

She sighed. _‘I guess Tatsuya came in here to play and Mom forgot to bring this back to his room.’_

She didn’t really like it, so it stayed in a closet indefinitely, until Tatsuya showed a great interest in it. After intense washing, it was good as new and was given to him.

To her left was a desk, everything that was previously on it packed into her school bag after she had completely her homework. Right next to that was a small mirror. Besides her rather messy hair she didn’t pay too much mind; Madoka would clean herself up in the bathroom.

Really, in this bedroom, there was only one thing that Madoka focused on.

The pink-haired girl’s eyes snapped to the monochrome calendar pinned to the wall.

March 16th, a day highlight with a word written in all bold.

Cycle.

A date close by, March 25th, was circled numerous time in red, with so many words noted beside it that they all overlapped each other, rendering them all unreadable, except for one.

Homura.

Madoka’s fists clenched.

After almost 12 years of suspense, fear, despair, and. most importantly, nightmares…

_‘The cycle… has finally started.’_

Madoka, now dressed for her classes, washed herself up, quickly ate some toast as breakfast, grabbed her bag and left the house.

* * *

March 16th was a normal day for most. Perhaps even above average. The sky was without a single cloud, the temperature was that perfect spring mix of cool and warm and the wind blowed nicely and occasionally freshened everybody up. The world on March 16th in Mitakihara was one that everyone enjoyed.

That is, except for one Madoka Kaname.

One quick look at her cellphone.

8:52 AM

MARCH 16TH

Mitakihara Middle School’s classes began at 9AM.

There was at least 15 more minutes of walking before she reached the school.

She was going to be late, unless she seriously increased her speed.

This would be the normal concern of a normal girl.

But instead, Madoka’s eyes were laser focused on the text below it. March 16th, the current day.

Madoka wanted to scream.

But instead, she walked on as normal, the only sign of her internal conflict being her subconscious biting of her thumb’s fingernail.

“The cycle…” Madoka muttered to herself, beginning to space out. “Today, she’s going to…”

When Madoka had turned eight years old, Junko had told Madoka about her mysterious case of crying when she had been a toddler. How she would cry every night after falling asleep without fail, for three months, causing the household much grief. Of course, Junko meant no offence to her daughter.

This small period of time that Junko had told her about seemed to fit the timeframe when she had started getting nightmares. Or, as Madoka now occasionally referred to them as, visions.

Not that they weren’t nightmaric, far from that assumption. In fact.

Those visions had scared and scarred Madoka. Changed her entire life, even. They had permanently carved themselves into her and influenced her, for better or for worse.

Madoka put her hand back to her side, continuing to walk.

Constant despair and suffering that she didn’t know how to stop or why it happened to her. Fear to go back to sleep as even after those hellish three months as a toddler, occasional nightmarish visions would haunt her, with pain and anxiety that would last throughout waking hours.

Madoka wiped a few beads of sweat from her forehead, picking up her pace a bit to get to school.

Dreams that she used to have, that people spoke of so fondly of, no longer existed for Madoka. If she wasn’t having terrible visions, her sleep would be exhaustingly devoid of anything. As though her eyes closing for the night and them opening for the morning time occurred but milliseconds apart from one other, with the actual hours in between providing but a small modicum of rest.

Madoka stopped walking, tapping her feet a bit impatiently on the concrete as she waited for the red light to flicker to green.

The visions truly were terrible. Specifically, the moments in those visions where she would be forced to absorb the purple aura of those mysterious creatures, accept their ‘sins’ as it were. No words could even described how she felt in the moment, or even how she felt afterwards. Nothing.

Madoka lightly jogged across the road as the street light turned green.

She was completely defenseless in those moments. Like a puppet or a rag doll, tossed around without care for her well-being and unable to do anything unless controlled to do so.

Madoka kept her pace, her breathing a touch more uneven.

Those visions imprinted events into her that she couldn’t forget even if she wanted to.

About five more minutes at this speed and she would reach Mitakihara Middle School.

Without any ability to defend herself, she was forced to take any possible escape. Anything that could save her. This, however, had no solution. None that were natural, anyways. Her mother had told her already how doctors could not identify any issue with her.

Madoka slowed down exponentially; she was starting to get a bit tired.

The solution that her two year old self had taken was a mental solution; one that she didn’t really understand, but one that worked.

“I… made it.”

Madoka, now right in front of her school with about a minute to spare, stopped. Her eyes unfocused, she looked up into the air.

It had been another vision; she had been trapped in the air, forced to absorb the terrible aura of the terrifying monsters and faceless girls. She had had a sort of revelation; that whenever she would be forced to ‘accept their sins’, they had always thanked Madoka, for reasons Madoka didn’t know even today. Her two year old mind, likely due to desperation, had managed to make a rather simple connection between their ceaseless thanks and her given despair:

Thanking someone was something you did when the other person was nice.

They had thanked her, and when they thanked her, she would be forced to feel despair.

Thus, because Madoka was nice enough to thank, that despair would be forced upon her.

So Madoka stopped being nice.

And just like that, the visions stopped occurring so frequently, though their effect had long since become permanent on Madoka’s mind.

The bell rang, signaling the beginning of the school’s activities.

When the visions had initially ended, the shift into negativity in her personality was a result of both her prior exhaustion and a fear that the nightmares would return if she was nice in any way. She’d frown more, throw fits more often and all around be less nice and friendly, all in an attempt to keep them away.

However, as time went on and years passed by, that lack of friendliness just _became_ a part of her personality. Not only did the nightmares occasionally occur later on regardless, but due to the constant repetition of her rather distanced attitude and the nature of the visions, her heart had frozen over and had steeled. She’d have trouble approaching others and was sometimes even mean to others for no particular reason. In addition, she’d become significantly distanced with her family. Her father, her mother, her baby brother…

“Madoka?”

It was all because of those visions. Those nightmares.

“Hey, Madoka?”

They would never stop affecting her life for the worse. They haunted her in the past, lingered on in her present and foretold despair in the future. She didn’t want this. She wanted it to be over. The cycle started today. All of that despair was going to start to appear in reality. And Madoka couldn’t do anything about it. Not anything. Nothing. The magical girls and the cycle and the Incubator and the Witches and Homura are going to start happening now and _there’s not a single damn thing I can do about it-_

“Madoka!”

“H-huh?” Madoka turned around at the sudden voice. It belonged to the one and only Sayaka Miki, one of the few people she had somehow befriended. In fact, she was probably Madoka’s _best_ friend, for all that meant. “S-Sayaka? What are you doing here?”

Sayaka was puzzled at this. “What am I doing here? What are _you_ doing here? You’ve been standing outside doing nothing for the past five minutes!”

Madoka, in all her monologue, forgot that she was standing right outside the school entrance.

“Oh.” She looked down.

“I saw you standing at the entrance through the window, and Ms. Saotome let me come and get you!” Sayaka explained. Her voice then turned into a worried whisper. “Are you okay, Madoka?”

“I’m fine.” The pink-haired girl mumbled, keeping her head down. “Let’s just get to class.” Before Sayaka could even think of a response. Madoka speedily walked by her and towards the school building.

Sayaka sighed. _‘It’s really hard to tell what Madoka is thinking about sometimes.’_ The blue-haired girl followed her not too long after.

And though she moved quickly, Sayaka still saw Madoka wipe her eyes with her arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes for Chapter 1: This story, once fully completed, will likely be compiled and re-published as a single story, as that was originally my intention. Consider this a beta version of that revised story. Further notes will be added as necessary.


	2. March 16th, Afternoon

Madoka said nothing as she entered the classroom with Sayaka within the school. It looked as though the teacher, Ms. Saotome, had just finished taking attendance, as all the students were now getting out their textbooks. The teacher looked quite pleased at their entrance, with Sayaka waving in her direction.

"Ms. Saotome, I got her!" The blue-haired girl said happily, giving Madoka a small pat on the back and grinning. Said homeroom teacher smiled softly, nodding back at the two.

"Thank you, Sayaka. You can go sit down now; class is about to start!" She stated. Sayaka looked at Madoka for a second before heading to her seat. Wordlessly, Madoka went to her own seat, without waiting for Ms. Saotome's permission. The glasses-wearing teacher gave her a peculiar look that Madoka had caught in the corner of her eye, but she didn't act upon it.

After checking something off a piece of paper, most likely regarding Madoka's late appearance, the teacher got up and smiled.

"Okay, class!" She exclaimed enthusiastically, just as Madoka reached her desk in the back corner of the class, next to the window. "It's time to go over your Japanese test!" A small but collective groan could be heard from the students, but Ms. Saotome shook her head.

"Don't worry! I had asked you to write a paragraph on how a  _proper_ boyfriend should act and most of you passed! But most importantly, I hope that the boys here have learned how to behave when with a lady, and that the girls have learned to judge whether or not a boyfriend is adequate!" Ms. Saotome's expression turned serious as she looked at her class. "Here's a few tips from me! You should never,  _never_ accept a boyfriend that take hogs the TV remote-"

Madoka, knowing that her teacher was going to go on another tangent about her many issues with boyfriends, decided to tune her out. Instead, she pulled out a few books from her bag. They were mainly books for each of the subjects the school provided for Madoka to learn. They were placed aside, however, in favor of a black leather-bound notebook, only a few centimeters bigger than Madoka's hand. There wasn't anything written on the cover.

"Okay," Madoka whispered to herself, opening the notebook. "Time to review."

Maybe it was a curse. Maybe it was a blessing in an horrifying disguise. But the nightmares that haunted Madoka for the majority of her life did not just scare her and change her personality.

They also foretold the future, hence why Madoka began calling them visions.

Well, the main component of the nightmares, her being terrorized by creatures or forced to accept the despair of those creatures were, to her knowledge, existed for the sole purpose of terrorizing her, changing her and making her life  _that_  much worse.

However, there were times when she'd get flashes of memories that of herself, despite the fact that herself never lived through them. Visions of the future. Six weeks worth of memories from herself at age fourteen.

This was odd in and of itself. Future foresight was an outlandish concept.

What could be considered even more outlandish, though, was the contents of those six weeks she remembered.

In that those memories were not really of six weeks; rather, of a cycle that looped the same six weeks for seemingly all of eternity, involving girls that contracted with some sort of white alien to become magicals girls to fight against witches.

Ridiculous, stupid, insane. All of those words could've been used to describe Madoka's so-called 'visions' and she herself would want to agree wholeheartedly.

As a child, Madoka had no way to know if these visions were real. They  _felt_ real, realer than reality itself, but they ultimately could've just been extra parts of the nightmare. However, as her life unfolded, small details from the visions turned out to occur in reality.

At age five, Madoka had met Sayaka, a girl that had been prominent in those very same visions, and just like in those visions, the two were, rather unthinkably, best friends. Similarly, she had met Hitomi and Kyousuke, two people that, while not as present in the visions as Sayaka, also appeared in them.

At age eight, after being invited to an archery range as part of Sayaka's birthday, Madoka was shown to be near prodigious with a bow, being able to hit a bullseye from seemingly any distance, with any bow, with any arrow, without fail, despite her young age and having never touched a bow in her life. This would've been a wonderful skill to realise she had, if not for the fact that the version of herself within the visions was often equipped with a bow.

At age twelve, Junko had revealed to her that she was having another baby. His name would become Tatsuya. Just like in the visions.

These, along with numerous, numerous other similarities made one thing absolutely clear.

Her visions foretold the future. What happened in them were going to happen in reality.

And that eventual reality was terrible.

That aforementioned cycle involving Magical Girls and Witches. It sounds far, far more innocent than it actually is.

In truth, it is a dark, hopeless, painful and  _ **deadly**_  incident, something that was etched in her mind.

Madoka let out a light sigh as she skimmed through the notes that she had diligently written over time. Some were written perfectly normally, others were written so frantically and messily she herself could barely read them. She gazed over the information for a little bit, then turned to a new page. She extracted a pen from within her pencil case and began to write.

"... Magical Girls are real."

Title.

"Girls with… magical potential contract with a creature called… the Incubator to become Magical Girls. The Incubator grants the contractee… a wish before they become Magical Girls…"

Written smack-dab in the middle of the paper.

"They gain supernatural abilities and use a Soul Gem… to fight Witches."

Her normal writing size.

"Witches are creatures that… live off misery. They stay in… labyrinths… and drop Grief Seeds when they die..."

Her writing became slightly less organized.

"They're actually… Magicals Girls that fell into despair."

Madoka bit her bottom lip upon jotting this down.

"Souls Gems are actually… the soul of the girls themselves. There's no way to return to normal… after contracting…"

Having written all that she thought needed for this part, she flipped the page a bit shakily.

"Cycle."

New title.

"..." Madoka went silent for a second, wondering how to write this down. She, however, was interrupted from her thinking.

"Madoka! Come up and get your test!" Ms. Saotome exclaimed, waving the paper at her, in a way so that none of the other students could see her result. Setting her notebook aside for the moment, Madoka got up from her desk and grabbed her test.

A 39%. She failed.

Not that she cared much.

Without the slightest show of guilt or sadness at her low grade, she strided back to her own seat

If anything, Ms. Saotome seemed fairly concerned at Madoka's  _lack_ of concern, but as teacher she couldn't show that. After having handed out the rest of the papers, the middle school teacher hummed enthusiastically.

"Okay everyone, ask me any question you'd like about your grad-" Just as Ms. Saotome said that, a loud bell resonated.

"Ah, it's time for lunch already? Where has the time gone? We haven't even corrected your tests yet!" The teacher said distressingly.

"Maybe it's because you spent all of class talking about your love life again?" A boy quipped.

"Can you even correct writing tests?" A girl inquired right after. The teacher in front of them grinned sheepishly and stuck her tongue out

"Heheh, is that so…" Ms. Saotome muttered, because raising her voice. "Okay class, have a nice lunch! You have gym next!" Silent murmurs and cheers of happiness erupted from the room as the class left the room. Madoka was about to do the same, but Ms. Saotome called out her name. She motioned her fingers towards her. Realizing that wasn't planning on anything, she sighed and approached the teacher.

"Madoka," Ms. Saotome began as her pink-haired student arrived at her desk. "You didn't do too well on the writing test. You usually do fine on them."

Madoka blinked. "I didn't do well on one single test. I don't see why you need to confront me about this."

The teacher pressed her lips into a thin line. "Well, it wasn't just one test. To put it bluntly, you failed the math, history and English tests as well. You haven't struggled with them before. There's also the fact that Sayaka had to fetch you from outside since you were just standing there." She lightly slammed her hands on her desk for emphasis. "Is there a problem that you're having, Madoka?"

Said girl looked to the side. "Even if there was, it would be none of your business."

"As your teacher, Madoka, it  _is_  my responsibility." Ms. Saotome stood up, walking around the mahogany desk to face her student directly. "Junko has told me-"

"While you two were drinking?" Madoka cut in with a deadpan tone, already knowing the answer. The glasses-wearing woman's sheepish nod only confirmed this.

"-Has told me that there's been something on your mind that's been impairing your grades and most importantly," She pointed at Madoka, her finger mere centimeters from her head, much to the pink-haired girl's annoyance. "Your peace of mind."

"My peace of mind is perfectly fine and shouldn't be of your concern."

Ms. Saotome's expression noticeably softened. Her eyes were gentle. "It, however, is of my concern, and will be of my concern for the foreseeable future. So, since that isn't going to be changing anytime soon, why don't you take advantage of it and tell me what's going on?"

Madoka went silent for a few seconds. It gave Ms. Saotome hope that she was considering confiding in her, but Madoka instead walked out of the room, offering nothing but a short and barely audible "goodbye".

The teacher sadly smiled. "There really is something bothering her. But if she doesn't talk about it, I can't make any progress. I'll have to talk to Junko about it later." She went back to her seat. "Now, what was I supposed to do now? Oh right, I had to prepare for the new transfer student…"

 

* * *

 

The ringing of the school bell signaled the end of the day. Dozens of students quickly made their way out of Mitakihara Middle School, likely going to hang out with their friends, as the weather on this March 16th was quite exquisite. There were a few students, however, that stayed for after school activities.

Madoka walked out of the building alongside her fellow students in exasperation. As the following period after her lunch was gym, she couldn't continue looking over the information she had written in her notebook and would only be able to do so once at home. However, just as she was about to pick up her pace to get home as soon as possible, Sayaka had approached her from behind.

"Hey there, Madoka!" Sayaka exclaimed, putting her hands on the back of her head as the two walked.

"Sayaka," Madoka said, glaring at said blue-haired girl. "What are you doing here?"

She shrugged. "Do I need a reason to say hi to a friend?" Madoka rolled her eyes.

"You have Hitomi to talk to, don't you?" Madoka commented idly, looking at her wrist. She didn't actually have a watch, but it felt like a better use of time then Sayaka's current attempt at conversation.

"Hitomi's at one of her after school lessons. What was it today? Tea ceremony? Dance lessons?"

"Piano practice."

"Yeah, that! I swear, with that girl, she's busy every second with her lessons! I wouldn't be surprised if I called her in a few hours and she was busy with  _learning_ lessons." The blue-haired girl glanced at Madoka's face for a reaction, deflating a little bit at the lack thereof.

"... Kyousuke?" Madoka brought up the grey-haired violinist in hopes that that would get Sayaka out of her hair. "I'm sure he would want to talk to you, seeing as he's been holed up in the hospital for quite a while now."

Sayaka froze at those words, but resumed walking soon after to save face. "Well, yeah, I was gonna visit him after. I was planning on getting him a DVD at the mall; want to come with?" Sayaka steered the conversation in order to question her pink-haired friend. She sighed.

"So that's what this is about." Madoka stated, shaking her head. "The answer is no, Sayaka. I have things to do at home. Besides, you'll be able to choose what fits better for Kyousuke more decisively by yourself." They had just left school grounds, and were walking down a road to the left.

Sayaka ran up in front of Madoka and began to walk backward to face her. "It's been awhile since we've hung out though. Is something up?"

Madoka audibly groaned. "That's the  _third_  time I've heard today." She muttered, loud enough for Sayaka to hear her.

The blue-haired girl slyly grinned. "Well, that just means that it's super obvious that something  _is_ up!" Sayaka came near Madoka, inspecting her while rubbing her chin as a detective would when trying to decipher a mystery. "What is it? Bad grades? Boy troubles? Feel free to tell Miracle Worker Sayaka!"

"There is nothing wrong for Miracle Worker Sayaka to fix. Go find another case."

"Ah, whatever. I'll get it out of you eventually." Sayaka gave in, but still retained her smile, returning to Madoka's side. They had reached an intersection; one road lead to the mall and the other was the one that would get Madoka home the quickest.

"Alright, I'm gonna have to get going before the mall gets crowded." Sayaka waved at her best friend and began to jog towards the mall. "See ya, Madoka!"

"Wait!" Moments later, the sudden yell of the pink-haired girl caused Sayaka to stop in her tracks in surprise. She twirled around to face the girl, whose expression seemed a lot less annoyed and a lot more serious.

"Huh, what's this? Is Miracle Worker Sayaka's work needed after all?" Sayaka smirked at the girl. Madoka opened her mouth to deny this, but stopped herself. She looked down for a second, some of her sternness fading. She then stared straight at Sayaka.

"I have something to say." Madoka uttered, gripping her bag. Sayaka's smile only widened.

"Sure! Fire away!"

A beat.

"... Wishes or miracles, they aren't something that just _happen_. There's almost always a downside. Don't accept them."

Sayaka's expression was a mix between puzzlement and irritation.

She shook her head. "Madoka, you say this  _all the time_ for no reason _._  Why are you telling me this?" Sayaka inquired.

"No reason. Just know that it's true, and keep it in mind." Madoka turned away. "You should hurry and get to the mall now. I'll head home. Bye." With those quaint words said, the pink-haired girl departed.

Sayaka scratched her head. "Wonder if I'll ever get why she says that all the time."

 

* * *

 

"I'm home." Madoka unceremoniously announced as she entered her home, slipping off her shoes.

Tomohisa was sitting on the kitchen table, reading a newspaper. The oven was on, so he was probably waiting for something to finish baking. Tatsuya sat on his high chair, pounding his small hands on the surface of it while making cute but incomprehensible sounds.

"Hello Madoka. How was school?" The man asked, giving his daughter a warm smile as she passed by him.

"Fine."

He hummed, flipping to the next page of the news article in his hand. "Your mother is going to get home a tad bit later today, something about being able a possible business partner being stubborn. I'm just making dinner."

"Okay." Madoka curtly replied, making her way towards her room. "I'll be in my room. Don't bother me; I'll come down for dinner in a while."

"Alright. Feel free to come to me if you need help with something." Madoka's eye twitched. The man's implication somewhat got on her nerves; that was the  _fourth_ time today. With a sigh, she continued on her way.

"Doka! M'doka!" Tatsuya exclaimed happily, a wonderfully wide grin upon his face while he looked at his big sister. Madoka considered ignoring him, but decided that against that and gave the toddler a small wave of her hand right as she reached her room.

Closing the door to her bedroom, Madoka didn't even bother changing out of her school clothes. She seized her title-less notebook from her bag and tossed it to the side. The pink-haired girl then walked over to her work desk and sat down, pen already in hand. She tapped it idly as she got to the page that she had written 'Cycle' on prior.

"Where do I even start…" Madoka leaned her back against the chair in exasperation. She had already hit a wall, despite the fact that nary a word was written yet. Madoka couldn't even identify exactly what the source of this roadblock of hers was. She knew everything she needed to write, and yet her mind yearned to do anything but.

Madoka attempted to force herself to write; the ballpoint of her utensil pressed against the page, but her hand shook erratically and nothing came to mind for her to jot down.

"Ugh…" Madaka groaned, "This is the worst." She put the pen to the side and picked up her notebook. "I guess I'll just read what I wrote down before. I'd remember better if I wrote it down, but this is fine too." She leaned back in her chair as she turned pages. After backtracking to the first few pages, she found an somewhat appropriate starting point.

That page was titled 'Cycle' as well. Though, the word cycle was misspelled, with an 'k' instead of the correct 'c'. Stick figures with different hair colors were drawn sloppily with crayon. The quality of the writing was pretty bad; Madoka had probably written this when she was younger. Still, the pink-haired girl had no interest in wasting more time in looking a version she had written when she was older, so she made due with this.

' _Cykle'_

' _Homura, Sayaka, Mami, Kyoko,_ _Madoka_ _ar Magic Girls_

_Kyoubay is the one that makes them magic with wish_

_It not good though, magic girl make you witch_

_If Madoka turn magic girl, bad thing happen_

_But Homura try to save Madoka!_

_She go back in time to save Madoka_

_She has cool power_

_She gona stop Wallpergasnight'_

And Madoka immediately  _regretted_ reading that.

Not only was the grammar terrible, it reminded her of how childishly idealistic she used to be as a child.

Clutching the book harder then she need to, she hastily turned to the next page, only to see...

Tear stains.

Tear stains and writing so chaotic and frantic it was completely illegible.

Madoka eyed the remnants of past sorrow and fear. She couldn't exactly pin down the emotion she was feeling, but she didn't want to think about it anymore than she already was, so she hastily turned to the next page.

After about two dozen pages ruined via aftermath of her previous nightmares and a one dozen pages with absolutely nothing on them, Madoka finally reached something that would actual be of use.

The writing was much neater and the grammar wasn't completely botched. The information on it was much more compact as well; approximately two years ago seemed like a good guess as to when she had written this.

"Something useful." Madoka murmured to herself, leaning further into her chair. Her eyes began to scan the page.

' _Summary'_

' _On March 16th 20xx, something is going to start.'_

' _Somewhere between March 16th 20xx and March 25th 20xx, a black cat will get hit by a car._ _Avoid that cat._ _'_

' _On March 25th 20xx, Homura is going to transfer into my class._

' _The next events don't have specific dates, but are almost definitely going to happen.'_

' _Mami Tomoe gets eaten by a witch.'_

' _Sayaka turns into a Magical Girl to heal Kyousuke's hand, and turns into a witch.'_

' _Kyouko Sakura comes after Mami dies and sacrifices herself to stop Sayaka.'_

' _There are other events that only happen occasionally.'_

' _On April 30th 20xx, Walpurgisnacht, a giant Witch, will appear and destroy most of Mitakihara.'_

A much more concise, informative and  _blunt_  encapsulation of the cycle that Madoka had to confront.

"Much better." Madoka muttered bitterly, continuing on to the next page.

' _Sayaka'_

' _Has a crush on Kyousuke'_

' _Wish is to heal his hand'_

' _Uses cutlasses as a Magical Girl'_

' _Falls into despair and becomes a witch'_

Nothing was written on her for her personality or appearance, seeing as Madoka already knew Sayaka. Next.

' _Mami Tomoe'_

' _Upperclassmen, yellow hair'_

' _Nice, caring and friendly. Wants to be seen as reliable. Is actually lonely'_

' _Uses ribbons and muskets as a Magical Girl'_

' _Gets killed by Charlotte, a witch'_

' _If she finds out the truth about Magical Girl, she will kill herself'_

Madoka's expression didn't shift. Next.

' _Kyouko Sakura'_

' _Red hair, wandering orphan'_

' _Abrasive and somewhat selfish. Has a nice side. Hates wasting food'_

' _Uses a spear as a Magical Girl'_

' _Will sacrifice herself to save Sayaka after she becomes a witch'_

The following page was significantly less tidily written.

' _Kyubey - Incubator'_

' _White creature, alien'_

' _Endless bodies'_

' _Tricks girls into contracting with it to become Magical Girls'_

' _Communicates with telepathy'_

' _AVOID AT ALL COSTS, DON'T APPROACH IT'_

Madoka snorted. The emphasis she had put on the last note was a tad excessive, but completely warranted. She turned the page to the synopsis on the final figure of importance; the  _most_ important person, in fact.

"Homura Akemi." Madoka read off with bated breath.

' _Black hair with braids, glasses'_

' _Shy normal girl with medical problems'_

And that was all that was written.

The air in Madoka's room was completely still, noiseless. Until, at least, Madoka broke that silence with a unsettling laugh.

"Oh great!" The pink-haired girl took the important book and pitched as hard as she could against the wall of her bedroom. "Even then, I was so idealistic, to the point where I couldn't write down facts!"

Madoka was so incredibly frustrated with herself. Herself now, herself two years ago, herself as a  _child_. Frustrated in how she couldn't confront the reality that was Homura.

She leaned even further into her chair, with it now struggling to keep balance.

Homura Akemi should, in theory, show up next week with braids and wearing red rimmed glasses. That would be logical, and most importantly, what Madoka wants.

However, Homura was the one factor most likely to change.

For when Madoka referred to the period between March 16th to April 30th as a  _cycle,_ she meant it in every literal sense. And Homura was a key component in it all.

At first, in the beginning 'timeline', Homura was as she had written down in the notebook. A shy, normal girl. However, as it turned out, the version of Madoka in that timeline was, in contrast with with how she now, incredibly nice.

So nice that she had contracted to save a random cat and became a Magical Girl.

Madoka chuckled darkly at that.

From there, she and Mami, who she had met in that timeline, befriended Homura and showed her the ins and outs of what they knew about the world of Magical Girls. Homura and that version of Madoka had grown particularly attached.

And then Walpurgisnacht arrived in Mitakihara and killed everyone except for Homura.

It was utterly devastating for the black-haired girl, seeing not only the town, but also the one person to show her genuine friendship get killed.

Thus, she made a contract with the Incubator in exchange for a wish.

A wish to go back in time and to gain the strength to protect Madoka herself.

And so began the cycle.

The period between March 16th and April 30th would loop endlessly. Homura Akemi tried her absolute best to save Madoka from her fate, which seemed to be either dying or contracting to become a Magical Girl, which was an indirect way of saying 'she was doomed'. Using her shield, Homura would stop time and store military weapons to fight witches and occasionally other Magical Girls.

Whenever she failed her mission, she would restart time, back to March 16th.

And she failed her mission constantly.

Obstacles, sometimes in the form of Witches, sometimes in the form of the Incubator, or even sometimes in the form of Magical Girls, would get in Homura's way and endanger her life. And yet, she'd carry on. Her personality toughened up and she ditched her glasses and braids as she became what was essentially a soldier fighting a seemingly unwinnable battle. And, to Madoka's knowledge, it was unwinnable, as not a single one of the dozens upon dozens of timelines of the cycle Madoka remembered through her nightmares ended without the click of Homura's shield and the reversing of time.

However, through all the grandeur and impressiveness of the situation, as well as the bravery and devotion of Homura, it is fairly easy to forget one thing.

In order for Homura to begin this quest, in order for Homura to become a magical girl, in order for Homura to ditch her braids and red-rimmed glasses, Madoka would need to become a Magical Girl and die.

Which, simply put, she was  _not_ going to do, no matter what.

And yet, with the terrible hand the world had dealt her, it was probably going to happen, wasn't it? Some terrible event completely out of anyone's control was going to kill her and kickstart Homura's endless quest wherein she'd died again and again and again and again and never get saved and die again and again and again-

"O-Oh!"

Madoka was suddenly on the ground with a head with an aching head.

She had leaned too far back in her chair and fell.

"I…" She considered the path her train of thought had just lead her to. "Need some fresh air."

 

* * *

 

In more fitting casual wear, Madoka walked aimlessly down the streets of Mitakihara. It was a little past dusk now; the moon was steadily making its way up the sky, which was now indigo-colored. The number of people outside was slowly dwindling, and the only ones not in the comfort of their homes were those that worked into the night, those who had parties to attend, or those who were unfortunate enough to not have that comfort available at all.

"This is better." Madoka closed her eyes, internally, anyways. She felt at peace, not having to think about the cycle, her nightmares or Homura, even if just for an hour or so. Despite the fate that Mitakihara would almost certainly face at the hands of Walpurgisnacht and the fact that Madoka didn't like to interact with most of its population, just being in the town provided Madoka with tranquility and satisfaction.

"Maybe I should be a little bit more idealistic. I've learned the ins and outs of what happens in a timeline, and I know not to contract with the Incubator." The pink-haired girl relented with a sigh. Her expression, while not exactly happy, was certainly a lot more optimistic. "When Homura comes to class tomorrow, she'll just be a normal girl and not a Magical Girl. I know it."

Madoka looked around the calm environment of Mitakihara. Everything was well kept, with next to no litter on the ground. A sign showcasing an upcoming recital of classical music. In the corner of her eyes, Madoka spotted a healthy-looking black cat running onto the road. The temperature had dropped a bit-

Wait. Go back.

Black cat running onto the road.

That was bad.

By the time Madoka had managed to connect the dots and swiveled around, it was too late. A car had appeared from seemingly nowhere and rammed the unsuspecting cat, causing it to fly away at a dangerously high speed and landed on the road's asphalt with a disturbing 'squelch'.

Madoka gaped momentarily at the suddenness of the situation. The car had picked up its speed exponentially; the driver had probably realized what they had done and was booking it. The black cat itself was alive, but barely. Madoka could see its blood that pooled around the dying feline, and judging from the infrequent rising and falling of its stomach, the cat was breathing at an agonizingly slow pace.

"I was expecting for this to happen today!" Madoka cursed under her breath. She took a step forward - there was a clinic nearby for her to bring this cat to-

She stopped.

What was she  _doing?_

Her attempting to save this one black cat dying was the whole catalyst for the Incubator showing up and turning her into a Magical Girl in the first timeline!

If she so much as entered the general radius of where the cat, the Incubator would probably show and begin to pester her to  _no end about becoming a Magical Girl._

Madoka looked around. There was nobody nearby to save this cat in her stead. It was near nighttime, after all. Her eyes went back to the animal.

' _If I don't save this cat, it's going to die.'_ Madoka told herself, gulping thickly. The implication weighed on her way more than it should've. But then,

She had a realization.

' _People are going to die in the next few weeks. A lot of people I know and… acknowledge. If I'm going to survive, I'm have to be prepared to see the death of those people and still be able to move on.'_

Her eyes glazed over with determination.

' _If I give up on some cat I don't even know and endanger myself the day the cycle starts, I might as well of died already.'_

The pink-haired girl's fist so tightly her knuckles became white.

' _I've gone through too much and prepared too much to blow it here. If some people have to die for me to live, so be it. If this cat dies, so be it. If the entire town has to die, **so be it.** '_

Madoka's heart froze over and her resolve steeled.

' _ **I'm going to survive. No matter what.'**_

Madoka was still looking at the dying cat. However, her look was now cold, distant and completely detached. She no longer cared about the wellbeing of the black cat.

"..."

With a glare, Madoka turned around and stomped straight home, leaving the black cat writhing on the ground.

 

* * *

 

_Gray, dark skies._

_Rubble of destroyed buildings._

_Bright, flashing red lights._

_No signs of human life._

_Walpurgisnacht floated above the ruins of Mitakihara._

_A girl with long black haired equipped with a shield leapt up and extracted a gun, ready to try and defeat the giant witch._

_Madoka gazed at the scene atop the ruins of her own home._

_Kyubey sat right next to her._

" _Do you want to help her?" It communicated. It tilted its head. "Just contract with me and become a Magical Girl!"_

 

* * *

 

With an abrupt yell, Madoka roused from her slumber. She quickly inspected her surroundings; no black skies or destroyed homes. Just her bland room. She checked herself. She was covered in sweat and was panting loudly.

Madoka glanced at the calendar. It was currently March 25th, the day Homura was supposed to transfer into her class.

"Madoka!"

Tomohisa ran into the room and went to Madoka's side. He knew exactly what Madoka had gone through and didn't bother asking what was wrong. The glasses-wearing father grabbed a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped her forehead.

"Are you alright!?" He questioned worriedly upon seeing his daughter's panicky state.

"I'm fine!" Madoka forced out, though her loud panting certainly was not helping her point.

"You're sweating like craz-"

"I SAID I'M FINE!" Madoka shouted out in denial, even as her whole body shook violently. She forced herself out of bed and went past her father to prepare for the day ahead.

Today was the day. The day that she dreaded for 12 whole years.

Homura was going to appear in her class, and she was  _going_ to be a normal girl with braids, red-rimmed glasses and heart issues.

Homura was absolutely not going to be a Magical Girl, and Madoka would survive through the next six weeks without dying or contracting.

Absolutely.

 

* * *

 

When Homura was introduced the class with no glasses, long flowing black hair and a stare directed straight at her, Madoka slammed her hands against her desk so hard the whole class turned their head to her and her hands went numb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes for Chapter 2: Thank you for the support, there was much more than I expected.
> 
> For clarification, this version of Madoka knows almost everything there is to know about Magical Girls, including the fact that Magical Girls turn into witches. In addition, she, in essence, has seen/remembers the events of the anime from episodes 1 to 11. She knows how the cycle started, with Homura making a wish to Madoka, as well as the various events that usually take place during the cycle (i.e Mami getting killed by Charlotte, Sayaka turning into a witch, etc). However, she has not seen how the cycle ends (with Madoka's wish and the Law of Cycles). During the visions Madoka had of the cycle, the version of herself had the personality of the normal, canon Madoka.
> 
> I apologize for the abundance of exposition present in this chapter, but it was necessary.
> 
> Further notes will be added as necessary.


	3. March 25th, Morning

 

The sound of Madoka slamming her hands against her marble desk pierced through the silent peace that the teacher beckoned her classmates to create in order to ease in the new transfer student. The classroom's collective eyes peered back and stared at the pink haired girl, who was now staring at her desk with no intent of letting anyone see her face, though she trembled more than anyone had ever her seen her tremble before.

After a moment, Ms. Saotome tentatively inquired Madoka. "Madoka? Are you alright?"

"..." Not a word from her.

The teacher pursed her lips, jotting down a mental note to tell Junko about Madoka's outburst later, but quickly adjusted her expression to a more fitting smile for her students, both old and new.

"Anyways!" Ms. Saotome's cheery voice pulled the students' attention away from Madoka's rather alarming behavior and towards the transfer student. She nodded at said girl. "Why don't you introduce yourself to the class?."

She nodded. She faced the class and began to speak.

"I'm Akemi Homura. It's a pleasure to meet you." She then politely bowed, the class applauding the black-haired girl as she rose from her bow.

"Wow, she's so beautiful." Sayaka whispered to Madoka, nudging the girl slightly from her desk. At those words, Madoka gulped and hesitantly glanced at the girl at the front of the classroom.

Homura Akemi, the transfer student, was quite the standout individual from appearances alone. Her body was slim and slender, with a posture so exemplary and clean one could mistake her as the student council president, despite the fact that this was her first day at Mitakihara Middle School. Her black hair was long, almost ethereal, and  _completely unbraided,_ in addition to a cold expression with  _no glasses_ between her eyes and the rest of the class.

In short, she had next to no resemblance to the Homura Madoka desperately wanted to exist.

As if to solidify Madoka's feeling, Homura's eyes soon fell  _directly_  onto her. Her piercing eyes staring straight at her might as well have been daggers stabbed into her body.

Despair and dread slithered themselves onto her, wrapping around her arms, legs, neck; all so, so tight. They bit into her, injecting the deadly poison that was the reality of the situation.

' _... Of course it would be like this.'_ Madoka thought to herself, her eyes empty as she watched Homura make her way to her desk.  _'I try to be optimistic, and fate just backhands me for it.'_

The world around her was casted into darkness, the only things existed being her and Homura. Braid-less and glasses-less Homura.

' _If Homura looks like that… the only explanation is that the cycle started. I… have already died.'_ The words took a moment to truly sink in to Madoka's mind, but once they had, they began to drag her down into the depths of mental turmoil.

' _I've already died. I've already died. And I'm probably going to die again. No matter what I do, I'm going to die. I couldn't stop the cycle from happening despite how much I prepared. I couldn't do it.'_

The dread and despair entered her body, making their way through her veins, leaving burning pain in their wake, until they reached the heart. They circled around her heart and constricted it, with Madoka's breathing becoming faster and shorter,

' _The cycle is going to last for eternity because I'm going to dying. I'm going to die again.''_

Madoka was now hyperventilating, though she herself didn't even notice due to the panic that her thoughts brought her.

' _I'm going to die again I'm going to die again I'm going to die agai-'_

"Ms. Saotome, may I bring Madoka to the nurse's office?" Homura, her hand raised, asked calmly, giving the said pink-haired girl a sideways glance.

Ms. Saotome looked over to Madoka with worried eyes. She was panting at an abnormally fast rate, with Sayaka gently shaking her in an attempt to notice her.

"No, Homura, I'd hate for you to have to deal with an serious issue like this on your first day of school. I doubt you even know where the nurse's office even is." Ms. Saotome hurriedly told the transfer student. "Sayaka, you should bring her instead."

"R-right." Sayaka rose from her desk, grabbing Madoka's arm. However, Homura stood up at the same time, and was slowly walking towards the two.

"I assure you, I can and should bring her to the office. I was informed as to where it was before I came here by the nurse herself. In addition, I've had episodes like this before, due to my condition, so I'd be able to help more than Sayaka." Homura stated, bringing a finger to her chest, tracing a circle where her heart was..

"From the looks of it, Madoka herself seems to not be aware of the world around her. She might not even realize what's happening to her. It's fairly likely she's having an anxiety attack, something I've both seen and experienced numerous times." Homura reached the two students, seizing Madoka's arm from Sayaka. "Thus, once we get her to the nurse's office, I will be able to calm her down more effectively then Sayaka." She looked at the blue haired girl. "I mean no offence or insult to your friendship with Madoka."

"... None taken, I guess?" Sayaka said, sitting back down. "Just make sure Madoka's alright, okay?"

"I'll be sure to, yes. Please excuse us." Homura assured, pulling Madoka up. Her breathing hastened for a moment at the sudden jerk from her arm, prompting Homura to guide her out of the classroom.

* * *

Two sets of footsteps echoed in the empty hallways, other students silently gazing at them from their desks as Homura directed Madoka to the nurse's office. The pink-haired girl was still being pulled by the arm, her legs automatically moving to keep up, but her breathing had fortunately stabilized significantly. However, Madoka continued to mutter words under her breath, refusing to face Homura. If Homura could hear her, she didn't act like she could.

The walk continued like this until the hallway had transitioned to a windowed wall. The sun boasted its warm radiance proudly, the beauty of the day that it accompanied on full display. The nurse's office was merely a corner away. Instead of continuing, though, Homura let go of Madoka's hand and walked a bit further, stopping at the one area where shade resided.

Homura turned around gracefully and stared at Madoka, who's head still faced downwards. She rose up her left hand to where the back of it was visible to Madoka, revealing a diamond. Her eyes stern, she mouthed:

"You know what I am, don't you? A Magical Girl?"

Madoka's eyes widened and the world around her suddenly rushed back into existence. Her head almost whiplashed with how fast it rose to face Homura, who made no reaction to Madoka's startled expression.

"Judging from your reaction, it seems I'm correct." Homura flicked her hair over her shoulder, her eyes hardening up as the hair gently fell into place. "Then we can get right into business."

"What… What do you mean? Why do you think I know you're a Magical Girl?" Madoka's throat was dry, but she still pushed herself to say  _something._ She did not know what to make of the situation.

Homura tilted her head. "Besides the nature of your question confirming it, do you have any other explanation for your reaction to seeing me? A person who, to you, is just a transfer student that you've never met before?"

" _Because the fact that you look like that means I've died and will continue to die hundreds of times."_ Madoka wanted to answer. Instead, the dryness of her throat amplified and impeded her ability to talk.

"Exactly. I don't care how you were informed about Magical Girl, whether it was Kyubey or another Magical Girl. It does not matter. What  _does_  matter is this." Homura's fists tightened, the Soul Gem on her left hand glistening in the sunlight.

"For whatever reason, you have an enormous amount of potential of a Magical Girl. Sayaka Miki also has potential, but yours dwarfs hers completely. And as you probably already know, us Magical Girls require Grief Seeds Witches drop upon being defeated to sustain ourselves. If you were to become a Magical Girl, you would pose a major threat to not only myself, but all Magical Girls who hunt for Grief Seeds. Thus,"

Suddenly, the sun reached a point where its rays directly shone into Madoka's eyes. It temporarily blinded her, forcing her to raise a hand to block out the intense light. When the rays had lessened and Madoka could see again, her whole body went rigid.

Homura, now dressed in her Magical Girl attire, was pointing a gun straight at her.

"It would do well for me to eliminate the threat you pose before it can grow into a major problem." She cocked the gun, the sound penetrating through the deafening silence, and Madoka flinched. "However, I am not a heartless monster. I will not kill you outright. Besides, the chaos that would follow your murder would be a hassle to avoid. Instead, I will ask of you one thing." Homura put away her gun into the confines of her shield and stared at Madoka dead in the eye.

"Do not become a Magical Girl. If you do, I will  _personally_ come after you. I may not be as strong as you likely will be when you become a Magical Girl in raw magical power, but I have far more experience. I can and  _will_ end you. I don't care what wish you desperately want, abandon the idea." Homura's voice held a tone of absolute finality that could cause even kings to kneel and obey her order.

"... O-okay." Madoka's words came out automatically. Homura nodded, a phantom smile temporarily lining her lips before it was immediately replaced by her default frown. A flash, and she was back in her standard school uniform, as though the magical transformation had not happened at all.

"Good. I will be returning to class, as it seems that your anxiety attack has all but disappeared. I'm going to say that I escorted you to the nurse's office. Feel free to go there or simply wait around until class is over." Considering that the end of the conversation, Homura began to walk back to the classroom.

The sounds of her footsteps made Madoka snap out of her daze. Though against what she probably should've done, that being nothing at all, Madoka asked a question just as Homura passed by her.

"What was… your wish?" Madoka hesitantly asked. Homura seemed to know that Madoka knew of the world of Magical Girls and how it worked, though for completely different reasons. Homura thought it was because someone had informed her. The actual reason were because of Madoka's nightmarish visions. However, she was not going to tell Homura about those nightmares. Instead, she was going to run with Homura's assumption of her being informed about the world of Magical Girls. Madoka could interrogate Homura without revealing anything on her end and not seem suspicious.

Homura stopped abruptly at her words. Sweat began to form on Madoka's forehead as the silent period only added to the tension.

"... That is of no concern to you. All you need to do is heed my warning." Homura finally answered. With that, she walked away, turning the next corner and disappearing.

The words Homura had told her, the situation they painted, it took Madoka a few moments to process them. But when she finally did, she hunched forward, covering her mouth in a utterly useless attempt to keep her lips open. Seconds later, though, she couldn't keep it in anymore and her mouth opened.

Madoka laughed.

She laughed louder than she ever has before. It echoed across the hallway; Homura probably heard her, but she wasn't in the state of mind to care. Tears materialized in the corner of her eyes as the laughter continued for minutes and minutes on end. The only reason her laughter stopped at all was that Madoka was running out of breath.

She took a second to regain her composure.  _'This Homura… it's not the same Homura from my nightmares! That Homura made her wish to protect me and to save me. If that was still the case, there's no way she would threaten me! All she was supposed to say when we come here was to 'stay as Madoka Kaname'. Which means that…'_

Madoka wiped away at tears she couldn't distinguish between being stray tears of her laughter or tears of relief.

' _Homura made a different wish to become a Magical Girl. I… I haven't died. The cycle hasn't started yet!'_ All of the fear, despair and dread Madoka once felt was lifted all at once. She felt as light as a feather, drifting in the paradise that was the fact that the cycle had not started yet.

Madoka returned to a more proper posture. Her tears had stopped for the most part, the only remnant of them being the barely visible tear tracks on her cheeks some of them managed to create.

"There's still a few things to figure out for now, like what Homura's wish actually is and why she's suddenly threatening me over becoming a Magical Girl, not that I would become one." Madoka sighed contently. "But for now, this is more than good enough."

Madoka closed that mental door firmly. There was no more need to think about that.

She pulled out her phone to check the time. There was 28 minutes until the second-to-last period of the day ended; next was gym. The whole class thought that she was in the nurse's office. Madoka  _could_ simply return to class and say she went to the nurse's, but there was a likely chance that Ms. Saotome would question the nurse on what was going on to her, and her lie would be quickly found out. Besides, she wasn't going to be able to concentrate on class at all.

The nurse's office it was.

* * *

"Excuse me, Ms. Kuwahara."

"Ah, who is it- Oh, Madoka!" The school nurse, Ms. Kuwahara, greeted her kindly from her beige-colored revolving chair. Her hair was a blueish white, and though her face looked youthful, a few wrinkles were apparent on her face. "So, what bring you here? Feeling under the weather?"

"I had an anxiety attack." Madoka said bluntly, walking up to the customary bed near the nurse's desk and sitting on it. She wasn't going to deny the fact that it happened; even if she did, Ms. Saotome sure wouldn't.

Ms. Kuwahara looked at her, suddenly twice as rapt with concern. "That isn't exactly something you just drop on someone so casually, you know." She said in a joking tone, though it was laced with worry.

"It disappeared on the way here. I'm just here to kill time before class ends, that's all." Madoka stated.

"You look fine, so I'll take your word on that part. But anxiety attacks don't just happen. What happened?" Ms. Kuwahara questioned the girl, who sighed.

"Nothing-"

"Dreams again?" Ms. Kuwahara said with complete seriousness. Madoka withheld the urge to glare at her and shook her head.

"No, it wasn't that." Madoka said, rolling her eyes. Ms. Kuwahara happened to be one of the few people who knew that Madoka had nightmares incredibly often. The nurse said that her mother had informed her.

Ms. Kuwahara sighed but relented. "We both know that's a lie, but I'm not going to get anything else out of you, it looks like." She showed a small smile. "Still, you should rest a little bit. Even if your anxiety attack did 'completely disappear', your body still might be shaken and weakened. You couldn't possibly go back to class like that, especially since you have gym next. Lie down for a bit."

Madoka considered denying Ms. Kuwahara's proposition, but the events of the past hour  _had_ tired her out quite a bit, even if not exactly to the point of exhaustion.

"Okay." She lied down on the bed. It was comfortable.

"I'll be busy during last period, so I won't be here. If you wake up during it, you can go back to class. I won't be bothered if you nap through it, though." The nurse stated, before turning back to her desk, presumably back to her work. Madoka nodded at her.

When Madoka closed her eyes, she found that sleep came to her almost immediately.

* * *

" _N-No, M-Madoka…!"_

" _Why…"_

" _You knew you were going to die, so why…"_

" _I wish that you decided to live, instead of choosing to save someone like me…!"_

" _..."_

" _Would you be willing to trade your soul for that wish? Do you want that wish so badly that you'd commit yourself to a life of battle?"_

" _..."_

" _W-would…"_

" _Would you grant any wish I grant any wish I wanted, if I made a contract with you?"_

" _T-then…"_

_Homura shakily stood up from the remains of Mitakihara, the corpse of Madoka laying in the water and rubble._

" _I… I wish to-"_

* * *

Madoka's eyes shot open.

' _I should've expected that after what happened.'_ Madoka thought to herself, pushing herself out of bed. Of course her sleep wouldn't be dreamless after what had happened. And unfortunately, that was quite possibly the scene she wanted to see  _the least_ right now.

The moment where she first died. The moment Homura made the wish to protect her by going back in time, and by proxy starting the cycle, forcing Madoka to suffer infinitely in Homura's attempts to save her.

Her body was shaking now. She inhaled the cool air to stop it from doing so.

"It's fine. The cycle hasn't happened.. Homura made a different wish." Madoka muttered to herself. "A different wish, a different wish, a different wish…"

She repeated this like a mantra until she calmed down.

She then turned to the clock. The final period of the day, Gym, still had about 30 minutes to go before the day ended, which explained why the nurse wasn't there, considering she said she'd be absent at this time. It was also good, since Madoka did  _not_  want to be in this room at the moment.

She stood up, before the corner of her eye caught something on the nearby table. Her gym clothes, along with a bottle of water, were neatly set down. Madoka's mood perked up a little bit at Ms. Kuwahara's kind gesture. She changed into the athletic clothing and grabbed the water bottle before leaving the nurse's office.

* * *

"Madoka!"

The said girl's head turned to the voice calling out to her. It was Sayaka and Hitomi, both looking quite concerned.

"Oh, hi. Shouldn't you both be outside?" Madoka commented as the two girls ran up to her. She herself was at the door leading to the courtyard.

"I went for some water, is all. Forgot to bring a bottle. Hitomi came with me." Sayaka said. "Anyways, that's not what's important! Are you okay? You had a panic attack in the middle of class!"

"I'm fine, yeah. Don't worry about it." Madoka replied, opening her water bottle and taking a sip of it. "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't."

Sayaka grumbled, seemingly not satisfied with the answer. Hitomi put a hand on the blue-haired girl's shoulder, understanding her feeling but wanting her to calm down.

"If you're okay, then that's that." Hitomi smiled. "Let's go back outside, shall we?" After having said those words, she stepped through the door. Even still, Sayaka didn't seem convinced, as her look towards Madoka clearly stated.

"Sayaka, I'm okay." She wasn't even lying in that aspect; her body felt fine.

"I know… but it's hard to just act as though nothing happened, you know?" Sayaka retorted worriedly.

"Look, I-"

" _Save me!"_

The two girls froze.

" _Sayaka, Madoka, please save me!"_

"... You heard that, right, Madoka? S-Someone called out to us to save it?" Sayaka stuttered, holding a hand to the side of her head.

"... No, I didn't. You're probably just imagining it." Madoka said through grit teeth. The blue haired girl shook her head fiercely.

"You did! I don't know why, but I can hear their voice even though they aren't here. And I can feel where they are, too!" Sayaka stated, turning around. "They're downstairs, in the basement. Let's go and save it-"

The loud sound of plastic and a splash caused the blue-haired girl to turn back. Her eyes slightly widened.

Madoka stared at her with an uncharacteristic smile on her face. The sound had most likely come from the water bottle in her hand, which was now crushed in the pink-haired girl's grip. The water that had gushed out was splattered on the ground, the occasional drip coming from the bottle's mouth.

"Sayaka, your worry for me might be causing you to imagine hearing things." Madoka calmly said, the smile on her face suddenly seeming a whole lot less pleasant. "Come on, let's go outside and meet with Hitomi." Sayaka could see that her grip on the water bottle was still tight.

"... Okay." Sayaka mumbled, before putting on a not-all-to-convincing smile. "You're right, probably just my nerves or something! Y-you haven't seen the transfer student in action, right? You should check it out before gym ends!" The blue-haired girl then muttered a few more words under her breath that Madoka couldn't decipher before going through the door.

Madoka, after a moment of nothing but hearing water droplets hit the ground, threw the bottle aside and followed her.

* * *

There had been far more people worried about Madoka's wellbeing then she thought would even acknowledge it. When she reached the courtyard where gym took place, nearly half the class flocked to her, probing her with their worries, Madoka was a bit surprised at that.

"Shouldn't you still be in bed? Mom says rest is important!"

"Are you sure you're okay, Madoka?"

"What happened?"

While Madoka was actually appreciative of the fact people she considered as strangers were concerned about it, they were just that; strangers. She calmed everyone down as best she could and denied all their inquiries for explanation immediately. After all, if she wouldn't tell family or 'friends', why would she them?

Two minutes passed, and the focus of attention, both of the students and Madoka herself, shifted right onto Homura. She was coming from a corner of the building, dusting off her athletic shorts while walking towards the group.

"I'm sorry for that, everyone. I thought I heard something over there, but I couldn't find anything." Homura apologized with a curt bow, before turning to Madoka. "Hello, Madoka. It's nice to see you're feeling better after having rested at the nurse's office for a bit."

Her words, though soft and kind, were completed contrasted by the stare Homura was giving her. Her eyes were cold and focused, screaming  _'You better have listened to me'_ without the need for actual talking. And though this would scare anyone else, Madoka secretly relished in this stare, knowing that a Homura that hated her meant a Homura that didn't go back in time and subsequently cause her to experience many deaths.

Madoka couldn't help but grin at that thought, even if Homura wouldn't know why she was doing so. "I have, yeah. Thank you for bringing me there."

"Don't mention it." Homura said with a nod.

A whistle ended their small talk, and all of the students turned to the gym teacher.

"Now now, you can all talk to Madoka after class ends, but class isn't over yet." She gazed at her watch and smiled kindly but sheepishly. "We still have time. Just do a few laps around the track, please!" The class collectively groaned but began to jog, including Homura and Sayaka, the two giving Madoka a look before they started to run. The teacher then turned to Madoka, who hadn't moved yet.

"Not going to run?" The teacher said, with a tone that clearly stated that she was going to Madoka to anyways. The said pink-haired girl sat down, bringing her knees close.

"No," Madoka stared at Homura go around the track, easily outspeeding everyone behind her without even a modicum of effort. The only one who was even standing a chance at approaching her was Sayaka, who was looked like she was trying her damndest. "I'm just going to watch. I don't think I could run very well right now anyways; I just needed some fresh air."

The teacher nodded in understanding. A few moments later, she left Madoka's side to help a student that had fallen down while running.

Madoka's attention, of course, was still on Homura. The black-haired girl was barely breaking a sweat, even though she was probably running at speeds rivaling athletes. This must've been incredibly surprising to everyone else, considering she supposedly had cardiac issues, but Madoka already knew that Homura was a Magical Girl, and thus feats like this were a piece of cake for her.

Staring at Homura, the girl who was such a prominent figure in her visions, gave Madoka a feeling she couldn't describe; Even if Homura had made a different wish here, Madoka's opinion of her primarily came from those visions; the ones where Homura  _had_ started the cycle, for that was the one she knew the best, oddly enough.

And in that respect, Madoka never knew how to pin down her opinion on Homura. Madoka absolutely despised Homura because she started the cycle with her wish, because of her cold-hearted detached demeanor, because a simple shift in appearance on Homura's part could send Madoka into a panicked frenzy, because Homura never once actually saved Madoka.

Madoka also loved and respected Homura; because her shy persona that cared about her, because of the bravery and care for her Homura showed by using her wish to try and save Madoka, because of her beautiful appearance, because no matter how many times Homura failed, she would get back up and try again and again, all to save Madoka.

Homura was, in Madoka's eyes, a walking contradiction. The only reason she wasn't stuttering over what tone and what words to use with Homura was because the black-haired girl's wish was different.

Madoka sighed, shaking those confusing thoughts away, and went back to looking at her classmates run around the track.

Or, at least, she would, if it wasn't for a high-pitched voice cutting into her mind.

' _Hello, Madoka Kaname.'_

Her eyes widened, and her head whipped over to the direction of a nearby plant at the edge of the courtyard.

Hidden within foliage with ruby eyes staring blankly at her was Kyubey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes for Chapter 3: Thank you for your support and your patience.
> 
> I apologize firsthand for the delay of this chapter as well as its possible confusing nature.
> 
> Ms. Kuwahara's name comes from the nurse from Hidamari Sketch, a series animated by the same studio as Madoka (SHAFT) and created by the same character designer as Madoka (Ume Aoki). Original characters are not planned to become a big part of the story.
> 
> Further notes will be added as necessary.


	4. March 25th, Afternoon

Anticipation.

Anticipation was a feeling Madoka was very familiar with.

Ever since she realized that the nightmares she had were linked to the future, anticipation was, whether or not she realized it, bound tightly to her soul. She had prepared mentally and informationally as best as she could, slaving her free time away in order to ready herself. Nearly all things, whether they may be activities or people, that would impede with that were quickly tossed aside, because Madoka was tunnel visioned solely on that one period of time her nightmares foretold.

Thus, one could say anticipation is a huge aspect of Madoka's life.

Especially during moments where that anticipation came to a head.

" _Hello, Madoka Kaname."_  The small, white creature with eyes a piercing ruby stared at Madoka. The creature's mouth didn't open at all, but she could still hear his peppy yet monotonous voice.  _"I think this is the first time we meet each other, yes?"_

Kyubey was the one who created magical girls, and by proxy witches, in the first place. He would trick and manipulate girls into forming contracts with him with promise of him being able to grant a miracle for them, as well as giving them the powers of a magical girl without informing them of the darker sides  _of_ becoming a magical girl. Days or weeks later, however, the grueling life of a magical girl or their miracle going awry would destroy their normal life, eventually resulting in them either dying or becoming witches.

The manipulation Kyubey was so proficient at made no exception during the cycle within Mitakihara City. He manipulated and misinformed every single person who had potential to form a contract with him, leading to the deaths and breakdowns of those very same people.

Kyubey was the one started this all.

And here he was, trying to befriend her, not knowing that Madoka knew all of that.

If Madoka's reaction to Homura was anything to go by, one would think that Madoka would be freaking out at the mere sight of Kyubey.

However, despite everything she knew Kyubey had and could do, Madoka's reaction was completely different to her reaction to Homura.

Madoka was calm. A bit tense, yes, but calm.

The reason for this was simple. Unlike Homura, Madoka was fully expecting Kyubey to show up. He was an inevitability, whilst Homura's being a magical girl was a possibility. Even then, though Homura looked like the Homura Madoka dreaded, her wish was completely different. Add in her overall rather messy feeling on the black-haired girl as is and Madoka's overreaction becomes warranted.

Comparatively, Kyubey was, as previously mentioned, going always to appear as the manipulative and incredibly hateable little creature he was, regardless of circumstance or timeline. He was inevitable.

And it was far easier to prepare for an inevitability then it was for a possibility, especially considering the amount of time Madoka had to do just that.

* * *

Madoka broke from Kyubey's stare, her eyes instead looking at her surroundings. Most of her peers were getting tired from the jog, opting to walk and chat with each other instead. The gym teacher was applying bandages to a scrape one of the children had received running. There wasn't anyone else around her, so with an exhale her gaze fell to the ground.

" _I am up here, on the tree you were just looking at."_ Kyubey telepathically spoke to the pink-haired girl. Madoka's head slowly turned to that tree, their eyes making contact once again.  _"I am the one you're looking at right now."_

Madoka's eyes widened a bit in confusion, before shaking her head rapidly and muttered: "Must be losing it…"

" _You are not going crazy, Madoka. I'm real. My name is Kyubey."_ Kyubey assured, his tail wagging a little.

Madoka rolled her eyes, but humored the voice. "For something real and apparently talking to me, you aren't doing a good job at it. What with your unmoving mouth." She snorted.

" _It's telepathy. I've made a mental connection with you, so you can communicate with me in the same way. Just imagine it."_ Kyubey explained. He climbed up one of the branches of the tree, settling himself near a seemingly empty bird's nest.

Madoka's stare hardened for a few moments until a sigh came out. She closed her eyes.  _"... Like this?"_

" _Yes, exactly like that. I can hear you perfectly fine."_ Kyubey's tail wagged faster.  _"With this, it should be evident that I am real."_

" _Well, this does make it more credible, yeah."_ Madoka said, slightly turning herself to better face the white creature.  _"But anyways, what do you even want?"_

Kyubey tilted his head, eyes closed. At the same time, a very small egg that was tucked in the nest Kyubey was next to had somehow been pushed out by his tail. The impact when it hit the ground resulted in a sickening crack as the underdeveloped contents leaked out of the shell.

" _I want you to make a contract with me to become a Magical Girl!"_

Madoka blinked.  _"A contract to become a… magical girl?"_

The creature nodded. _"Yes. I can grant you one wish, anything your heart desires. And in exchange for that wish, you will receive a Soul Gem which identifies you as a magical girl, and is the main source of a magical girl's power."_

Madoka was silent for a moment.  _"And what do we need to do in return?"_

" _All magical girls are given the responsibility to fight witches."_

" _What's a witch?"_

" _You can think of them as the opposite of a magical girl. If magical girls are born from wishes, then witches are born from curses. While magical girls spread hope, witches spread despair. They are a cause of endless despair and tragedy across the world."_

" _And how am I supposed to deal with something that spreads despair and tragedy?"_

" _As I previously said, a Soul Gem is the main source of a magical girl's power. With a Soul Gem, a magical girl can tap into that power and use it to combat witches. You'd be especially amazing, Madoka."_

Madoka raised an eyebrow.  _"Why?"_

" _Well, not everyone has the potential to become a magical girl, only a select few. Among those select few, some have more potential than others. To be frank, Madoka, you have the most magical girl potential I have ever seen from anyone. You'd be the world's greatest magical girl!"_

" _Really?"_ Madoka said. She closed her eyes.  _"Sorry, I'll have to refuse your offer. Even ignoring how ridiculous this all sounds, I'm not so valiant that I'd put myself in danger for any reason."_ She looked up to gaze at the cloudless blue sky.

" _Besides, for years now I've been wary of anything that seems too good to be true. If something sounds so amazingly perfect that you would jump at the opportunity to grasp it, chances are it's just fate trying to make a cruel joke out of you. A wish or a miracle sounds especially too good to be real, even with the condition of becoming a magical girl."_

A layer of tension suddenly appeared.

" _... Anyways, that's my answer. I'd like to be left alone now."_

The tension then evaporated, though not entirely. Kyubey licked at his paw.

" _That is fine. If you have a change of heart, I'll be here to-"_

And suddenly, there were several bullet-sized holes in his body.

Madoka made a short gasp in surprise, scooting away from the tree Kyubey had been in. Kyubey's somehow bloodless corpse fell over before one of the bullet holes got caught by one of the oak branches. Seconds later, an adult bird landed on that very same branch and began to very aggressively devour the remains of Kyubey.

"Madoka."

Said girl quickly turned to the source of the voice, who happened to be Homura, walking towards her with a glare.

"O-oh, Homura. Weren't you supposed to do laps until class ends?" Madoka questioned, standing up and dusting herself off. The school bell rang whenever a period ended, so it was easy to tell that class was still going.

"The teacher said I had done enough and that I should rest so that I don't overwork my heart." Homura clarified quickly. She walked right past Madoka, towards a corner of the school building. "Come with me." Her voice was stern.

Madoka decided that it would most likely cause less problems to listen to her then to not.

* * *

The best way to deal with the Incubator, Madoka had devised for years, was to pretend that she was unknowing of what Kyubey or magical girls were.

Lying to a creature like Kyubey could be dangerous, and like was, but up to this point Kyubey has not had a reason to consider Madoka any differently to any other of his targets. More importantly, Madoka's knowledge on the events that were to transpire in 6 weeks time and the darker side of magical girls was Madoka's trump card. She had no idea what Kyubey would do should he figure out that Madoka had that information and she was in no rush to find out. Thus, Madoka acted as though she had just heard of the creature.

Of course, Madoka would sooner take Homura's bullet to the head before making a wish Kyubey and becoming a magical girl, which was unfortunately the fate of most that met the Incubator. She would feign contemplation with the idea to avoid suspicion, but that was the furthest she'd go.

Unfortunately for her, this very much contradicted how she reacted to Homura. The way Madoka reacted towards Homura when she first saw her appearance inadvertently revealed that Madoka knew about magical girls. It certainly didn't help that Madoka did nothing to deter her from thinking otherwise; in fact, Madoka ran with the idea.

It was perhaps too early to tell if that decision would end up being harmful or beneficial, but one thing was certain.

If Madoka's lie were to be discovered, the consequences would likely be severe. And the possibility of discovery was rendered far more likely with the contradiction that existed between the two different stories Madoka told Kyubey and Homura. Thus, upholding that lie was going to be very important.

Her survival probably hinged on it.

* * *

A slam.

"O-ow..."

Madoka recoiled a little bit as her body hit the wall. Homura had roughly pushed her against the brick surface and was now holding her wrist in a very painful grip. In the black girl's other hand was a pistol, likely the very same one that had blown a hole through Kyubey moments ago.

"It doesn't look you understood exactly what I told you hours ago entailed." Homura stated dangerously. Her anger seemed to be leaking into her usually stoic expression as her eyebrows furrowed. ""Don't become a magical girl.", those were the simple directions you needed to comply to, and yet you couldn't even do that. Are you purposely trying to lose your life to me?"

This was  _nothing_ like how Homura was like in her visions, not at  _all._ Especially towards Madoka. Even now, Homura's demeanor threw Madoka for a loop. She was fully expecting a shy and harmless Homura or, if the worst scenario had occurred, a cold Homura who kept her distance but protected her whenever needed.

"I wasn't talking to Kyubey to become a magical girl, he's the one who started the conversat-" Madoka hissed as Homura's grasp on her wrist tightened exponentially, Homura's purple Soul Gem glowing a little as she tapped into her power to make the pain Madoka was feeling  _that_ much worse.

"Don't talk to him period."

"Y-you know as well as I do that that isn't possible. He'll show up whenever he wants to." Madoka winced but tried her best to look Homura in the eye despite the pain. "What are you going to do? Maim me every time he decides to make an appearance?"

Homura clearly didn't like the underlying tone of sass in Madoka's response but unceremoniously let go of the girl's wrist. Madoka slowly closed and opened her hand while massaging her reddened wrist with the other to reduce the pain as blood began to flow back into her hand.

"Fine. I do agree that he is quite persistent to a very pestering degree. Still, even entertaining his words with your own means that you are clearly okay with walking on a very thin line." She flipped her hair before putting away her pistol within her shield. "If I overhear even a contemplation of becoming a magical girl, you'll be dead before you can even make the wish."

Madoka shook her head. "Don't worry. I don't have any intention to endanger my life or yours." She assured, still rubbing her wrist. "I don't have any real wish I want granted." Her thoughts floated to the nightmares she had on a constant basis. The exhausting dreamless slumbers. The lack of any true happy dream in her entire life. The chance to get rid of that misery.

Madoka dispelled those thoughts immediately.

"Even if I did, it wouldn't be worth putting myself at risk. I want to live more than anything else."

After a few moments of tense silence, the school bang rang. The school day was over, and the sounds of chitchat grew in volume as the students left the running track and shuffled into the building to change and get their things. With that, Homura wordlessly nodded and made her way back to where the rest of the students were.

As the black-haired girl left, Madoka took a good look at her wrist. Despite her rubbing it still stung, and the red mark Homura's hand left probably wasn't going to get better until tomorrow at the very least.

Even so…

The sheer  _ **animosity**_ Homura felt towards her, so different from what the personality Madoka expected and feared Homura to have...

Was it wrong to be excited by it?

* * *

Most of the students had left the courtyard by the time Madoka had returned. The only one left was Sayaka, who was panting heavily practically drenched in sweat while walking away from the running track.

"Oh… Hey Madoka." Sayaka rasped between breaths.

"You look like you just swam through the Pacific Ocean." Madoka remarked.

"Well, I tried to run as many laps as the transfer student did. She stopped a while ago but I only  _just_ reached the same amount as her, with 10 extra minutes. And she barely broke a sweat! Heart problems my butt." Sayaka complained, her breathing becoming more stable. "Speaking of the transfer student, I saw you follow her around the corner. What were you both…" At that moment, Sayaka's eyes fell on Madoka's arm. Specifically, her very reddened wrist.

"Madoka, your wrist! What happened!" Sayaka said worriedly, walking up to the girl to examine the injury. Madoka pulled back her arm in response.

"It was an accident, that's all." Madoka lied through her teeth. It was much more preferable that Sayaka only got angry with Homura after she saw her interact with Mami, as any anger now could lead her to confront Homura herself, which could either result in her death or her becoming a magical girl, which in and of itself could cause a giant problem with her wish alone. Mami could at least give Sayaka a veil of protection and reason to control herself. Despite this, Sayaka's expression made it clear she believed none of what Madoka said.

"What kind of accident can make your whole wrist all bruised like that?" Sayaka questioned in a rhetorical manner. Madoka couldn't say anything in response, after all, she was right.

"It was the transfer student, wasn't it!? Why the heck did she hurt like that!?" Sayaka yelled in outrage.

"Sayaka, she didn't do anything to me. It was an accident. Homura just wanted to… make sure I was feeling okay. Calm down." Madoka tried to smother Sayaka's rage before it grew out of control.

"Like hell I'll calm down! I've been getting bad vibes from the transfer student ever since she volunteered to bring you to the nurse's office so adamantly for no reason, now I know she's just some bully! I'm gonna tell Ms. Saotome and make sure she never does that again, if I don't already find her myself and let her have it!"

"You won't be doing anything like that, Sayaka." Suddenly, Madoka's voice was stone cold. "Even if Homura did hurt me, you won't get anywhere with your story. Both Homura and I will deny it." By this point, Madoka had all but dropped her intent of deceiving Sayaka. However, this plan trapped Sayaka either way. "Just drop it. You should know that I'm not stupid enough to stay in a problematic situation with reason if there was a way out as easy as just telling the teachers. If you believe Homura is bullying me or somesuch, you should similarly believe that I have a reason to stay in that situation. And of course, a reason like that is extremely hard to find and justify. So, it stands that it makes more sense that it was simply an accident, right?"

Sayaka tried desperately to find a way to combat those words, but a very big sigh signaled her defeat.

"This is for the best." Madoka commented, exhaling a small breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Don't get me wrong Madoka, I still think the transfer student's super suspicious. I just trust you on this." Sayaka conceded, then smiled lightly. "Let's just head home."

Madoka nodded, and the two made their way towards the school building to change and get their stuff.

* * *

"Man, today sure was insane. You had a random panic attack, and we met some kooky transfer student who is supposed to have heart problems but runs like a pro athlete!" Sayaka reflected on the events of the school days, hands on the back of her head and she walked side by side with Madoka. The two had left the school building about a few minutes ago, and just reached an intersection between two paths that'd bring them home in the same amount of time.

"..." Madoka didn't feel the need to respond to her, instead about what was going to happen next. What was supposed to happen, according to her visions, was that Madoka and Sayaka found Kyubey in the midst of being hunted down by Homura. They would then encounter a witch, which would be when they'd encounter Mami.

That initial witch encounter didn't happen, yet at least; they were supposed to come across it at the mall today while Sayaka browsed for music to gift to Kyousuke, which ended up happening nine days ago. With both this and the black cat's early death, it stood to reason that while events in her visions would undoubtedly happen, the time of some of those events were uncertain.

She would get back to her main point, however, on the pavement of the right path stood Kyubey. His tail wagged as their eyes made contact, though oddly enough he made no attempt to approach the duo.

"Hey, is that a white squirrel over there?" Sayaka pointed at the white creature. "Preeetty sure that isn't something that's natural."

While Madoka knew that it was impossible to prevent their meeting, prolonging the time before it was indeed an option.

"And it's exactly because it's not natural that we shouldn't get close to it." Madoka said, already walking ahead on the left path home.

"I guess you're right." Sayaka agreed, catching up with the pink-haired girl. "Honestly, it looked cute. What if it was just a stuffed animal or something?"

The fact that she had just referred the Incubator, a terrifying Machiavellian manipulator, as  _cute_ … while she wasn't mad at Sayaka, it did cause her to close her eyes and rub at her temples.

"No Sayaka, it couldn't have been a stuffed animal. Its tail was wagging and it was blinking. And it was not cute."

"They have toys that blink and wag their tails nowadays, don't they? Battery powered ones, right? Doesn't Tatsuya have one?"

"Besides my old one, Tatsuya isn't really interested in stuffed animals."

"You mean the pink teddy bear you got when you were four? You still have that?"

"I don't, Tatsuya does."

"Basically the same thing!"

"No it isn't." Madoka massaging her temples didn't stop her rising annoyance, and her closed eyes weren't helping her concentrate on said attempt at calming down  _at all_.

"Well, you still have it in your house so... uh…"

"What is it now?"

"I don't think I'm freaking out right now, but I might be..."

"What do you mean, Sayaka?"

"What the heck is going on?"

Madoka's eyes snapped open.

Her surroundings were shifting rapidly, warping in a very unnatural manner. The calm reality they were experiencing seconds ago was slowly disappearing and was starting to be replaced with something else entirely.

While Sayaka had absolutely no idea what was going on, Madoka bolted the second she realized what was happening.

"Madoka, what are you doing!?"

Madoka cut Sayaka's voice out. She hoped that if she was fast enough, there was a chance that she could escape.

But of course, that was impossible. Moments after Madoka's sprint, the warping stopped. Reality completely disappeared. The two were now in an almost alien location, roses on nearly every part of the discolored and mossy surface. Butterflies with what looked like craft paper for wings flew above, and plants grew to full bloom in the span of a few seconds, only to die right after.

"H-hey Madoka, w-what is all this?" Sayaka sounded, clearly spooked going by the tone of her voice. Said girl was panting as she took in her surroundings.

It was now evident what had been done. Kyubey had figured that Madoka didn't have a good impression of him with his sole conversation with her, perhaps realizing that Madoka wasn't likely to make a wish with him. So, in order to force her hand, he indirectly lured right where he wanted her to by sitting on the other pathway so Madoka would avoid him and fall right into his trap.

And fell into his trap Madoka did.

For Madoka and Sayaka were now stuck in a witch's labyrinth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Further notes will be added as necessary.


End file.
